
Photo Credit: by Andres Ayrton, Pexels.com
Valentine’s Day is approaching—a time filled with love, connection, and intimacy. But if you’re navigating menopause, you may find yourself wondering how this phase of life fits into the romantic holiday.
Hormonal shifts, changes in libido, and even physical discomfort can leave many women questioning how to celebrate love and intimacy.
The good news? Menopause doesn’t mean the end of intimacy; instead, it’s an opportunity to redefine it. This may look like focusing on your relationship with yourself or taking steps to boost your health in various aspects. At the end of the day, menopause is not just the end of a chapter; it’s the beginning of a new enriching one.
This Valentine’s Day, embrace a broader perspective on connection and explore new ways to nurture your relationship—starting with yourself.
Hormonal Changes and Their Impact on Intimacy
Menopause brings significant hormonal changes, particularly a decline in estrogen.
According to Mt. Auburn OB/Gyn, “Hormonal imbalances can significantly impact sexual function in both men and women. In women, conditions like polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), menopause, or thyroid disorders can disrupt hormone levels, leading to symptoms such as reduced libido, vaginal dryness, and challenges in achieving arousal and orgasm.”
Less estrogen can affect sexual desire, mood, and even physical comfort. Symptoms like vaginal dryness, decreased libido, and mood swings are a common and completely normal part of menopause.
As Mt. Auburn OB/Gyn further reports, “Estrogen, a predominant female sex hormone, contributes to vaginal lubrication, maintaining the health of the vaginal tissues, and supporting overall sexual function. Fluctuations in estrogen levels, such as those during the menstrual cycle, pregnancy, and menopause, can influence sexual desire.”
These changes, while challenging, don’t mean the end of a fulfilling love life. They simply require a shift in perspective and the willingness to adapt. Addressing these changes head-on, with self-compassion and openness, can pave the way for deeper intimacy.
Expanding the Definition of Intimacy
While menopause may alter physical aspects of intimacy, it also offers an opportunity to explore deeper, multifaceted connections. Intimacy isn’t solely about physical attraction or sexual activity; it encompasses emotional, intellectual, and even spiritual dimensions.
Emotional intimacy: This involves deep connection, vulnerability, and open communication. Sharing fears, joys, and dreams fosters closeness, even when physical intimacy is less frequent. If you have a partner, children, or grandchildren, you can explore emotional intimacy with all of them.
Intellectual intimacy: Engaging in stimulating conversations, pursuing shared interests, or learning something new together can reignite connection. Joining a club or group, or taking up a new subject to study, can breed a whole new world of intellectual stimulation. Now is the time to explore the interests you never had time to dive into before.
Spiritual intimacy: Sharing values, exploring mindfulness practices, or finding purpose as a couple can deepen your bond. Perhaps you join a church or synagogue, or begin meeting with like-minded individuals who share your same values. Engaging in sacred rituals or focusing on your spiritual health can bring a new level of mental and emotional satisfaction and purpose.
Physical intimacy: Beyond intercourse, physical connection can include cuddling, holding hands, and gentle massage. These small gestures of affection can build a strong sense of closeness without pressure. Simply going for a stroll with a loved one or looking into their eyes can bring feelings of closeness and warmth.
As the University of Rochester Medical Center puts it, “For many, partner intimacy and sexual satisfaction are not defined by genital function alone but are complemented by friendship, loyalty, history, and trust.”
Practical Tips for Rekindling Connection
Menopause doesn’t have to diminish your relationships—it can inspire new ways to prioritize connection. Here are some practical tips to nurture intimacy this Valentine’s Day and beyond:
1. Communicate Openly
Open and honest communication is vital. Share your feelings and concerns with your partner, and encourage them to do the same. Be clear about any physical discomfort or emotional changes you’re experiencing, and work together to find solutions.
Active listening and empathy can go a long way. By fostering a judgment-free space for dialogue, you’ll create an environment where both partners feel valued and understood.
2. Prioritize Self-Care
Menopause can take a toll on your physical and emotional well-being. Taking care of yourself is essential for maintaining intimacy. Consider these self-care practices:
● Stay active: Engage in training, muscle-strengthening exercises, yoga, or walks to boost mood and energy. Remember the laws of physics: an object in motion tends to stay in motion!
● Improve sleep quality: Aim for consistent sleep patterns and consider supplements like magnesium to enhance relaxation. Early bedtimes are just fine at this stage of life! Whatever gives you energy for the things you love should be prioritized.
● Eat well: A nutrient-rich diet supports hormonal balance and overall health. Consuming a variety of vegetables, fruits, and plenty of protein, carbs, and fats will give you the nutrients you need.
● Manage stress: Incorporate stress-reducing activities like meditation or deep-breathing exercises. Begin your day with a quiet moment to yourself; adding a warm beverage like a hot cup of coffee or tea can go a long way.
● Nurture relationships: Loneliness is a major complaint for people as they age. Intimate connections with friends, partners, family members, and loved ones is essential for mental and emotional health. Call up someone you love or plan a time to see them to keep your social connections strong.
3. Explore New Forms of Intimacy
Redefine what intimacy looks like in your relationship. Plan date nights, try new hobbies together, take that trip you’ve always dreamed about, or simply spend quality time reconnecting. Physical touch doesn’t have to be sexual—it can include cuddling, kissing, or even a foot massage. It might even look like participating in an activity you enjoy together or volunteering together to support a cause you care about.
Consider trying solo practices that improve your comfort and understanding of your body. Products like lubricants or vaginal moisturizers can also help alleviate physical discomfort during intimacy.
4. Seek Professional Guidance
If menopause-related changes are causing significant strain on your relationship, seeking professional help can be beneficial. Therapists or sex therapists specialize in guiding couples through transitions and fostering stronger connections.
Supplements and Prescription Drugs for Menopausal Wellness
There are a variety of supplements and prescription drugs that can support your overall well-being during menopause. Some of the most common include:
● Centrum multivitamins: These provide essential nutrients for energy and hormonal health.
● Magnesium: Known for its calming effects, magnesium can promote better sleep and reduce muscle tension.
● Vitamin D and calcium: Crucial for bone health, especially during and after menopause. Prioritize dietary sources of calcium, and getting Vitamin D from healthy sun exposure, then add in a supplement if need be.
● Menopause patches: Drugs like Estalis are used to treat moderate to severe hot flashes and other symptoms of menopause. Finding relief from the discomfort may give you a whole new outlook on life.
● Erectile dysfunction drugs: While drugs like Cialis are for men, if any dysfunction in the bedroom is due to your partner struggling to get or maintain an erection, an ED prescription drug may prove helpful to both of you.
● Female Viagra: Did you know there’s such a thing as Viagra for women? Drugs like Addyi are used to treat Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD) in pre-menopausal women. If this sounds like you, the female Viagra pill could make a big difference.
Talk to your doctor if you think supplements or medications like those listed above may be right for you. Incorporating these supplements alongside a balanced diet, regular physical activity, and strong relationships can improve your physical health, which positively impacts all aspects of your life, including your emotional and intimate world.
As WebMD puts it, “All supplements have potential side effects. Supplements and herbs may interact with some medicines you take. They could boost or negate a medicine's effect. Or the interaction could cause other problems. Some herbs can cause allergic reactions.”
Of course, only a qualified medical professional can advise whether you are a good candidate for prescription drugs for sexual wellness. Consult a physician if you think you need health support during menopause.
Embracing Menopause as a New Chapter
Menopause is a natural part of life for women, marking the beginning of a new chapter rather than an end. Valentine’s Day is the perfect opportunity to celebrate your evolving relationship—both with yourself and with your partner.
By shifting the focus from physical intimacy to emotional, intellectual, and spiritual connection, you can experience a love that’s deeper and more meaningful than ever before. Of course, you can also learn to enjoy physical intimacy in new and different ways that are comfortable for both of you.
Take this Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to explore new ways to connect, prioritize self-care, and rediscover the joys of intimacy. Menopause isn’t the end of romance—it’s an invitation to redefine and embrace it.
###